Girly Girls

I was told recently by a friend of mine that I am one of the most girly girls she knows. I'm not sure whether to be offended or flattered, surprised or not.

Let me clarify what I mean by "girly girl". She is the sort of girl who wears fashionable clothes, has an expensive wallet, spends too much time wondering if she appears pretty and cool without having to try to be pretty and cool. Most important of all -she hangs out with other girls just like her. When in a group, they talk and laugh in a way that makes you feel a little uncomfortable, making you wonder if they are secretly laughing at you. It is virtually impossible to know for sure (in their defence, until you get to know them better) whether they genuinely like you or are only being nice to your face. I'm fairly certain at least one such girl will have popped into your mind by now and you know the type of girl I am talking about.

So, back to the story I was about to tell you. I can certainly see why some would consider me to be a girly girl, but I have never considered myself one because I am always intimidated by them. The fact that I feel intimidated by girly girls makes me think that I am not one, or worse, that I am a wannabe. Surely a genuine girly girl wouldn't be scared by other girly girls?

But it occurred to me that I had over-simplified my analysis. In the case of a girly girl, confidence comes through safety in numbers. A girly girl on her own can be excluded or outcast on the grounds that she is too arrogant, snobby or bratty. A girly girl requires a posse to be girly - that is, a group of girls, each as girly as the others within the group. It is always possible for a new girl to join the group. All it takes for her to join, and thus obtain the security of being part of the group, is to show that she is as girly as the rest of them.

I recently had the perfect opportunity to test this theory out. There were two girly girls who it was important for me to get on (or "in") with. To "out girly" the girly girls would take courage and cunning, but I took inspiration from my friend's comment that I was one of the girliest girls she knew. I believed I was up to the task.

So for the next few days, I behaved exactly as a girly girl should...and more. I giggled, I rolled my eyes, I used facial expressions excessively, and drew people in when telling them things as though I were sharing a delightful secret. I reacted with wide eyes and gasps, bright smiles, a disapproving shake of the head, or a simple shrug as appropriate.

Would you believe it, it actually worked! In a mere week, I had successfully worked my way in and was fast being accepted as one of the girly girls.

So perhaps I am a girly girl after all. But hopefully, as my friend tactfully added, "in a good way".

Wear Purple

I really like the idea of new year's resolutions. One year, I went quite overboard and made 10 resolutions each with four to five sub-resolutions. I realise in hindsight that this was rather like putting the concept of new year's resolutions on steroids, but nonetheless, I feel it was a success for that year as I actually kept track of all of the resolutions and sub-resolutions and reviewed them regularly, including a final review at the end of the year where I gave myself a percentage score for each resolution.

An email I came across recently suggested that you make a one-word theme as a new year's resolution. Coincidentally, I have already tried this. For 2007 it was "try new things" (okay, so this is three words, but the sentiment is the same and it's a far cry from having sub-resolutions), and 2008 was about "commitment". The way I use the theme is that during the year, if I am having a dilemma about something, I use the theme to help reach a decision. "Commitment" was about not running away from things when they got hard, pushing on and thinking long term. "Try new things" was about expanding my field of experiences and finding out more about myself.

For 2011, I have decided on the theme "wear purple". You see, for many years, I've believed that purple just doesn't suit me. Which in fact is completely untrue. With my dark skin tones and dark hair, purple is in fact a beautiful colour on me. Although I've known this in theory, there was always something stopping me from wearing purple. A few weeks ago, I decided to end this and bought a great purple top which I happen to love. When I see the top, my first reaction is still "I can't wear this", but then I do, and the world does not end and, more importantly, people do not stare at me when I go outside.

Of course, simply wearing purple is not a very meaningful resolution. But it does make me wonder how many things I assume about my likes and dislikes are true. I believe that people do change over time, and it may be a good idea to test the assumptions every once in a while to avoid being trapped by who you think you are which is based on who you have been in the past.

In many ways, this resolution is similar to "try new things" except that the idea is to re-try old things while keeping an open mind. The aim is to discover more about myself and in particular, about what I find fun. I might be surprised. I hope I will be.

Fourth Time Lucky

I decided nearly two years ago that I should start blogging. I am always coming up with random thoughts and I love writing, so I thought getting on the blogging bandwagon would be a good idea. I diligently found this online blog site, designed a page, came up with a title, did everything I needed to get started. I sat back, satisfied, in naive belief that the hard part was done.

Since then, I have started this blog three times (now the fourth), and have over a dozen unfinished posts sitting there staring at me and making me feel guilty. For some reason, I just haven't been able to get going.

It did make me start wondering about passions. These days, people are always talking about "finding your passions" and "doing what you love". When asked, I frequently tell people that writing is one of my passions. I honestly believe it is, and it certainly was something I enjoyed very much and did a lot of as a child. But the older I get, the less I seem to be able to produce. It made me wonder - is writing really my passion if I don't devote any time and energy to it?

This brings me to the point of this blog. My opinion is that you can't call something your passion if you can't be bothered doing it. As it is nearing the beginning of 2011 and I love making resolutions, I have resolved to write more. I realised that I prefer writing by hand, so I've bought a small notebook that I carry with me everywhere. I keep my ideas in the notebook until they're ready for posting on this blog.

Will this make a difference? I wish I could say that it's going to be perfect this time and that I am so motivated and dedicated, but the truth is that despite my good intentions I could very well be deleting this and starting a new "intro post" in six months' time.

But let's stay positive. Please keep your fingers crossed for me and hope that there are more posts here very soon.

Over and out.